i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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