so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
