Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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