It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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