So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
