if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize