The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
