have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
