Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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