Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
