wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She needs sedatives and a leash
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
