I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
