He kissed a someone with a penis
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
