white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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