My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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