ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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