my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize