I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
