We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
