Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
we're so committed to being not committed
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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