and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
