I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
