oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
