I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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