What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
