super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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