3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
