She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
