FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
