this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
