i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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