She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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