Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
