he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
