apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There's always time for handjobs
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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