Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
