I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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