She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
