Cold hands, warm shart.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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