drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
