is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
