keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She's not a foreskin expert like you
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize