do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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