i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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