big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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