Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
