Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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