lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
