He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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