First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This house was built for laser tag.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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