we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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