We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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