Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
