I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
