Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
