im drinking this country out of the recession.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
