sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
