Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Randomize
