My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize