he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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