At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Green mimosas i think yes
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
