I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize