are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
