he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
