he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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