I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
