If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
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