I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
