I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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