While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
