stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
