and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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