Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
