Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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