My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
